


Monster and Mastermind

by LolaInSlacks88



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Angst and Humor, Complicated Relationships, Ensemble Cast, Gen, Love/Hate, M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-23
Updated: 2016-05-23
Packaged: 2018-06-10 06:32:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6943660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LolaInSlacks88/pseuds/LolaInSlacks88
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peace has settled within Ikebukuro after the information broker, Izaya Orihara, left town. But with news of his return - and a stay in her apartment! - Celty devises an elaborate scheme to keep the peace. It'll take all of her friends and almost all of her acquaintances to keep Shizuo and Izaya apart - or to bring them together. </p><p>Plans are made, bets are placed, and a hot pot party is the beginning of a new chapter with an uncertain ending!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Monster and Mastermind

**Author's Note:**

> This is an ongoing work, so please bear with me! I plan on giving due time to all of the characters involved in Celty's plan, so don't anticipate a basis on Shizuo and Izaya early on.

Monster and Mastermind

1\. Celty’s Hotpot Party

The first chapter in the twisted love story ended. Nevertheless, as some of the kinks unraveled and new ones started to tangle, a second chapter began.  
A mastermind returned. A monster became a human. A former assassin returned from her motherland. Two sisters dreamed of a normal life for their brother. A supernatural creature settled down into domestic bliss. A gang of four continued on, as thick as thieves, and a trio of three rebuilt their bond. And in the quiet of Ikebukuro, with the absence of gang wars and the firm dominion of the Awakusu-kai in place, the residents planned to keep the monster and the mastermind apart.  
Yet their reunion seemed inevitable.  
A hotpot party contained almost all but the monster and the mastermind: Mikado Ryuugamine, Anri Sonohara, and Masaomi Kida sat at a table and laughed – Masaomi gaily, Mikado gently, and Anri with a quiet, demure giggle. The quartet dove into their food with verve, Walker and Erika talking while they ate; Saburo and Kyohei watched, amused yet disgusted and utterly unsurprised at these ill manners. Vorona and Tom Tanaka sat together with Simon and Dennis, who had generously supplied some of the food. Occupied in the corner was Chikage Rokujo, who would sometimes sit with Kyohei and Masaomi, but often returned to his bevy of ‘honeys’. Seiiji Yagiri was flanked by his girlfriend, Mika Harima, and his sister, Namie. He was annoyed by their constant clinginess as it disrupted his eating. Kasuka Heiwajima was also surrounded by women, but not distressed by it: to his left was Ruri Hijiribe, who was puzzled by the stares of the lank-haired man with the chatty manga fans, and to Kasuka’s right were Mairu and Kururi Orihara, who were staring at him in lieu of eating. Mizuki Akabayashi and Akane Awakusu sat eating quietly near the trio of Masaomi, Mikado and Anri. Shingen Kishitani happily ate with his wife, Emilia, and son, Shinra. In another example of one of Ikebukuro’s recent changes, Shingen had been convinced to remove his gas mask within the apartment, which made eating much easier of course.  
And Celty Sturluson, the headless rider, who had retired from running errands for anyone except Shinra, watched all of it with reverie in her kitchen.  
That’s right; my kitchen. This is my apartment, filled with my friends – mostly – and my lover. And this is my town. This, this is my life.  
If she could have, a content sigh would’ve drifted out of her. Instead, a little puff of shadow slipped through her neck.   
Shinra, ever attentive to her, caught this and excused himself from the table to go to her side.  
“Celty, everything okay? Everyone seems to love the food you made! Listen to all of that laughter!” He embraced her warmly. “This feeling of contentedness, that’s what you were feeling too, right?”  
Celty leaned into him and nodded. [If only I could taste the food too. To share in it with everyone.]  
Shinra pulled back and beamed at her ebulliently. “It’s great, trust me!” He swept his arm out at the room dramatically. “And if you can’t, trust the smiles on their faces!”  
Celty looked and saw that everyone seemed as content as she felt. Inside, she smiled.   
She wanted this peace to last. And for that reason, everyone had assembled at her apartment today – except for Shizuo. She felt badly, but he would be less than understanding of some of the discussions that were about to occur.  
[Shinra, can you speak to everyone for me?]   
He nodded, a smile on his face that further warmed her (figurative) heart. “Anything for you, Celty, my love.”  
[Tell them …]  
“Everyone!” Shinra yelled, surprising even Celty with his clear, direct tone. “Celty wants to say a few things for you. Obviously, you can’t all read that PDA from here so I’ll speak for her. First of all, she thanks you for attending!”  
“Thanks for the delicious grub!” Masaomi Kida called out, waving one hand.  
“Thank you also for including me on my return,” Vorona said with no inflection, though her expression was one of slight shyness. “I not always friend of everyone here. Is a surprise to be welcomed.”  
Simon patted her back with heft. “Vorona, what makes friends is forgiveness! You cease violence, everyone happy, da?”  
Celty typed, and Shinra spoke for her. “Celty knows your intent in Ikebukuro is to find your place here with everyone. And she wants everyone else to find their place too. Which most of you have.”  
“Except for our brother!” Kururi exclaimed, perhaps a little too glibly.  
“And mine,” Kasuka added. Dokusonmaru kneaded on Ruri’s knees contentedly, full of his, well, fill of raw fish.  
Celty typed a lot, but quickly. She had more experience than most, if not any, with this.   
“We heard last week from Izaya. It was a surprise, to say the least. He wants me – Shinra, that is – to help rehabilitate him. He’s in a bad way from his fight with Shizuo –”  
“And me,” Vorona offered. No one could detect the mix of shame and satisfaction in her voice. She detested Izaya, but still regretted her contribution to his suffering. She’d had much time for reflection during her visit to Russia.  
Celty waved her hands, then tapped away at her keyboard.  
“The past is the past. We’re trying to move forward. You can help, Vorona, and maybe that’ll help fix things for you, too. As for everyone else, you know what we’re scared of –”  
“I’d say we not even tell him, but he’ll find out soon enough,” Tom Tanaka said, covering his face with his hand. “He can sniff out Orihara like a bloodhound.”  
“I am not clear on relation of bartender to broker,” Emilia Kishitani said. “Why they not get along? Bad business?”  
“You could say that,” Shinra answered. “I went to high school with both of them. There’s been a LOT of bad blood between then and now. But Shizuo and Izaya both went too far. Izaya knows it. He told me not to tell Shizuo he’d be here, and I feel like for the first time in his life, he told me the truth. He said, “I’m scared to die”.”  
Everyone was startled by this revelation. Izaya was someone who held the truth close to his heart. No one really knew him. Only OF him.  
Namie managed to break away from Seiiji long enough to say, “I actually believe you. I think he’s the loneliest person I know, though that Heiwajima guy seems pretty aloof too. And trust me, I know aloof.”  
“You’re the Queen of Ice, Sis,” Mika said with a too-large smile on her face. She followed that with a pert titter. Namie grimaced and clung back to Seiiji, who dropped the food from his chopsticks with a disgruntled frown.  
“But you know, even if I don’t say anything, it’ll slip out.” Shinra sighed and looked to Celty. She threw her hands up in defeat/agreement. “So Celty decided that, in order to keep the peace in Ikebukuro, it’s up to us to basically con them into making amends.”  
Kyohei spat out a mouthful of noodles, making Walker and Erika chuckle. “Wait, what? Make the two of them, Shizuo and Izaya, mortal enemies at first sight, for over a decade, not completely hate one another’s guts? We’d have better chances of pooling in and winning the lottery!”  
“Or of sexy, friendly aliens deciding to visit Earth,” Walker added with a leer.  
Celty clutched onto Shinra out of habit; she still secretly feared that if Izaya and Shizuo didn’t ruin Ikebukuro’s peace, aliens would eventually come down to conquer Earth.  
“I believe that peace is feasible between all people,” Mikado said with a winsome smile directed towards Masaomi. “I’d like to see them make amends, and help them to, of course.”  
“I don’t really like Orihara,” Anri said meekly, “but I think he’s cruel to others because it’s his way of connecting to them. So maybe he’d be less cruel if we connected to him.”  
“Or better yet, make the other lonely dude connect to him,” Chikage spoke up after a sip of beer. “Two birds, one stone.”  
“A vicious eagle and a crafty crow, you mean, with a mountain between them,” Kyohei argued.   
“Vorona is crow,” Simon informed everyone. “Meaning of her name in mother tongue. Sloan, her associate, was elephant.”  
“Simon, man, that’s not a nice thing to say about a guy,” Masaomi kidded with a wink and a smile.  
Everyone chortled. Even Vorona smiled. Tom looked like he’d seen a unicorn.  
Tom likes her, Celty realized. I was sort of the leader of a gang once; maybe I can play matchmaker while I try to mend things between Shizuo and Izaya. She typed and tapped Shinra.  
“Really? Well, Celty says we all have a role to play, kind of like … well, in a play. Think of her as the director, and I’m the stage manager.”  
“Do you think Celty can build a bridge between these two?” Shingen asked. “She’s hardly an expert in humanity.”  
Shinra spoke before Celty could furiously type a retort: “Celty knows humans better than anyone, even Izaya. Her soul is pure and well intentioned. She’s like a mother to everyone. We’re more her children than Saika’s were to her.”  
Celty nudged Shinra, who noticed Anri’s shifting gaze.  
“No offense, Miss Sonohara,” he appended quickly.  
“N-none taken.” Anri smiled while Mikado squeezed her hand under the table.  
Celty was pleased to see that one of them had finally made the first move. She hoped to bring similar results to Tom, whom she respected as a good friend of Shizuo’s.  
Celty held up a finger and hurried off to the spare room to rummage for something. The others waited for her to return, curious about the proposed plan. There was muted chatter until she returned with a whiteboard and a handful of markers and an eraser.  
She drew a list of names grouped together and assigned code names.

Otaku:  
Kyohei Kadota  
Erika Karisawa  
Walker Yumasaki  
Van Driver Guy

Sushi:  
Tom Tanaka  
Vorona  
Simon … (she wrote a lot of squiggles trying to make out Simon’s last name)  
Dennis

Hollywood:  
Ruri Hijiribe  
Kasuka Heiwajima  
Kururi Orihara  
Mairu Orihara  
*Dokusonmaru

High School Gang:  
Mikado Ryuugamine  
Anri Sonohara  
Masaomi Kida  
Chikage Rochi

Yakuza:  
Akane Awakusu  
Mizuki Akabayashi  
*And any helpful, “in the know” associates

Twisted Love:   
Seiiji Yagiri  
Namie Yagiri  
Mika Harima

HQ:  
Celty Sturluson  
Shinra Kishitani  
Emilia Kishitani  
Gas Mask Idiot

Some of them had things to say about this arrangement.  
“My name’s Saburo! Saburo Togusa!!”  
“Celty have trouble with Russian tongue? Brezhnev. I show you to write, da?”  
“Thank you for including Dokusonmaru as part of the team, Miss Celty.”  
“Why the hell am I counted in the “High School Gang”? Because I’m in a gang? I’m flattered, but I’m sure as hell way past high school aged.”  
“Hey, sure, I’ll bring in the big guns for this one. Well, maybe not guns … but I’ll put our resources to good use.”  
“I won’t work with her!”  
“I wouldn’t work with her either, but I know she’ll cling to Seiiji like a barnacle no matter what.”  
“Celty, when will you call me ‘Father’ instead of those horrid pet names of yours?”  
Celty scrawled NEVER on the board in response to the last comment by Shingen.   
She quickly scrawled another list, writing: SHIZUO: SUSHI, HOLLYWOOD, HIGH SCHOOL GANG; IZAYA: TWISTED LOVE, YAKUZA, OTAKU. HQ BETWEEN BOTH.  
“Boy, this is sure complicated!” Erika muttered, taking it all in. “But I’m excited! It feels like we’re in a convoluted manga plot!”  
YOU ALL HAVE A TASK: HOLLYWOOD AND OTAKU WILL GET PERSONAL INPUT FROM THEIR SUBJECT, MEANING YOU DIG INTO THEIR PERSONAL LIFE AND FEELINGS THROUGH CONVERSATION. YAKUZA AND HIGH SCHOOL GANG, YOUR JOB IS SURVEILLANCE: MAKE SURE THEY STAY OUT OF TROUBLE INVOLVING ONE ANOTHER. AND FINALLY, SUSHI AND TWISTED LOVE, YOUR JOB IS TO CREATE SITUATIONS FOR THEM TO INTERACT IN. PARTIES, GATHERINGS, WHATEVER YOU CAN THINK OF. AND MAKE SURE THEY DON’T COME TO BLOWS. SHINRA AND I WILL MAN THE SHIP AND YOU CAN COME TO US FOR UPDATES AND ADVICE.  
Celty’s writing got smaller and smaller as she struggled to fit all of this onto the whiteboard. Atop it was a space large enough for her to write: OPERATION PIB (PEACE IN IKEBUKURO).  
“Well, guess Sushi and Twisted Love will be holding back for a bit,” Kyohei said. “Since it’ll be a bit before the ‘no blows’ thing will happen.”  
“Or before the other kind of blow does,” Erika snickered.  
“Drugs?” Akabayashi queried, confused. “Don’t think that’ll help the case.”  
“Yaoi is her drug,” Walker explained with a smile to Akabayashi.  
Akane twiddled her fingers. “Oh, my … the … t-two of them?”  
“Will never happen!” Vorona objected. “Shizuo hate Izaya with fiery passion!”  
“Hey, passion is key,” Chikage remarked. “Strong feelings of one kind can turn into strong feelings of another.”  
Celty typed a message into her PDA, which Shinra read aloud: “This isn’t a love connection! Just trying to find some common ground so they come to understand one another.”  
Shinra folded his arms. “You know, I’m probably the person that knows the both of them best. Meaning I’ve seen them interact the most. And I’d say a love connection isn’t impossible.”  
“My brother has wondered what his relationship with Orihara would be if he could trust the 1%, whatever that means,” Kasuka admitted.  
“Yeah, and our brother thinks Shizuo has a cute sleeping face,” Kururi spoke up, grinning ear to ear.  
Mairu added, “He thinks of doing things to Shizuo in his sleep. Like stripping him naked and putting him in the middle of the road. He says it’s to see what would happen, but I think he wants to see Shizuo naked.” Her tone was deadpan, and she blinked slowly as everyone took in this information.  
Shinra thumbed his chin. Celty dreaded the conclusion he’d draw. “Hmm, maybe if Hollywood and Otaku feed good things about them to each other, they’ll come to realize more things they don’t detest about one another.”  
“I can buy into it,” Namie admitted. “Izaya’s way too obsessed with Shizuo. It’s beyond just hating someone. He could’ve killed him long ago. He enjoys the push-pull relationship.”  
“Shizuo knows where Izaya’s apartment is,” Tom added. “Don’t ask me how. He’s gone there a few times to ‘kill’ him but obviously he never did.”  
Erika clapped her hands together. “A secret love affair gone bad! Instant attraction between rivals, heated hate-sex-”  
Walker clapped a hand over her mouth. “That sounds like fanfic, Erika!”  
Kyohei shook his head. “I think they’re both still virgins. The only love letter Shizuo ever got on White Day was a prank from Izaya, and he bought his own chocolates. And Izaya claimed to get heaps of both from girls, but I think he wrote them and bought them for himself.”  
“Brother has had crushes on Mother figures,” Kasuka volunteered. “But that was mostly when he was little. He never talks about women now. Hm.” His gears seemed to tick away. Dokusonmaru meowed, craving attention.  
“Our brother says lots of women love him,” Kururi said with a finger to her mouth, “and of course that he loves all of them, as humans. Shizuo’s the only person he doesn’t love, but I think it’s a defense mechanism to keep Shizuo from hurting him. Well, breaking his heart.”  
[Enough!] Celty typed. [The more you talk about it, the more I can buy into it – and I don’t want to turn into a deluded fangirl! They’re oil and water!]  
She pictured the two walking down the streets of Ikebukuro holding hands. Izaya turning and smiling at Shizuo, who would shut his eyes and smile with a sigh. Seeing the two sitting across from one another through the window of a café, sharing a shake. Sitting on a bench under a cherry blossom tree, kissing when they thought no one was looking.  
As implausible as it seemed, the peaceful images were sort of cute. And this frightened her – especially when her thoughts drifted to the aftermath of a date.  
[We’re not trying to brainwash them into being lovers! Not even friends! We’re not magicians!]  
Shinra read her texts and smiled up at her. “It’s Ikebukuro, Celty: stranger things have happened.”  
“Let’s place bets,” Chikage suggested, standing up. “Three results: they keep on hating one another’s guts, they make up, or they make out.”  
“That’s a good way to keep motivated!” Masaomi agreed with a chortle. He stood up and held up one finger. “Are we placing bets on multiple results, or one apiece?”  
“Let’s keep it to one.” Akabayashi dug into his coat and retrieved a notepad and pen. Celty was impressed. “I’ll keep track.”  
A flurry of excited conversation erupted. Shinra looked at Celty with a smile and shrugged before he went to place his bet.  
Playing off of Celty’s own codenames, Akabayashi had the whimsical idea to make codenames of his own for the three results: Death in Ikebukuro, Fruitful Friendship, and Improbable Man-Love.

DII:  
Vorona  
Tom  
Chikage  
Akabayashi  
Shingen  
Saburo  
Kyohei

FF:  
Simon  
Dennis  
Mikado  
Anri  
Seiiji  
Emilia  
Walker

IML:  
Masaomi  
Akane  
Mika  
Namie  
Shinra  
Erika  
Kasuka  
Ruri  
Kururi  
Mairu

Celty was surprised that the whole of HOLLYWOOD was on board for a romantic result, especially considering that Shizuo and Izaya’s own siblings supported it. The ones who knew them best.  
She struggled with what she expected and hoped for. She expected old patterns to return chaos to her beloved city. She hoped for the two to find a middle ground. And she doubted there would be park kisses, shared shakes, and lover’s strolls. In the end, she decided not to bet, since the project was her own idea, but inside she had decided she’d have betted on the middle ground.  
At her core, Celty was an optimist.  
After the dust had all settled from the excitement of gambling, everyone returned to their seats and waited expectantly for their first direction from Celty.  
[YAKUZA and HIGH SCHOOL GANG, keep an eye and ear out for news about Izaya and Shizuo. Izaya will be coming back to town tomorrow. Shizuo has the day off, and Tom sent him on a trip to the beach for some time in the sun. Hopefully he’ll come back refreshed. OTAKU and HOLLYWOOD, I want you to meet up with your target and inform Shizuo about Izaya’s return and update Izaya on Shizuo so he won’t feel compelled to do it himself. TWISTED LOVE and SUSHI, just hold on until we get some feedback from the other teams. If you interact with either your target or the other party, remain neutral and try not to influence them negatively.]  
Shinra spoke for her. She typed out a final message.  
[Those who bet for DII, do NOT encourage bad behavior! Other than that, thank you all for coming, and now let’s finish with dessert!]  
While the majority of Celty’s Ikebukuro friends and acquaintances dug into Botamochi, Shizuo was indeed relaxing in the sun. He had his eyes shut and was listening to the waves while the salt scent of the sea wafted into his nose.  
(It was nice of Tom to set this up for me. Wonder why he didn’t come too.)  
(It’s nice out here. Hell, it’s even been pretty quiet back in ‘Bukuro.)  
His eyes opened abruptly as a phantom smell entered his nose: overpowering cologne.  
The peace inside him abruptly departed as memories of the infobroker flooded back. Flashes of punches and blood and the sound of broken bones. Strangely, it wasn’t rage he felt instead; it was guilt. And, oddly, some regret.   
(Tcch. What do I have to feel bad about? Flea had it coming.)  
(Still, I nearly killed him.)  
A seagull chirped above him. Out in the distance was a sailboat.  
(Wonder what he’s up to. Where he left to. If he’s healed and how bad I broke him.)  
(Don’t know why I wonder that.)  
A kite flew overhead and a child giggled.  
(What if he comes back? What’ll I do? Things can’t return to the same way they were – the line was crossed. He tried to kill me and I woulda died if not for Celty. And I might’ve killed him if not for Vorona and Simon.)  
(One of us might have to die for real, but it sure won’t be me. Still, can I beat up a guy on crutches? In a wheelchair? Even him?)  
(He won’t come back. If he does, he’s got a death wish.)  
Shizuo sighed and turned in his hammock.  
(Peace sure is nice.)  
But peace was not perpetual. Life, he had come to find out, was alternately peace and chaos. Peace was the ideal and sometimes chaos was the reality.  
The sounds and smell of the ocean lulled Shizuo back into a nap, the sun radiating heat into his skin.  
He woke up with a bad sunburn and an uneasy feeling in his gut.


End file.
